Grad School As A "Nontraditional" Student: Second Semester Review

Cherry blossoms that I enjoyed seeing, but did not blog about!

Hmm.  So I guess saying "I never meant to neglect my poor little blog for so long" is a pretty common lament.  And my reasons are pretty much what they usually are:  I got very busy.  My busyness really came in a couple of stages this semester.  In the first stage, I had some time for going out and doing things on the weekend, but not really time to blog about any of the stuff I did.  In the second stage, I had time for neither doing things nor blogging.  And I really had very little to blog about, aside from whining about being so busy all the time.

I recently finished my second semester of my graduate program (my review of my first semester is here).  I won't lie.  It was a pretty bad semester.  In a nutshell, what I can say for it is that it's over with, and that I'm now 40% of the way done with my program (which sounds a lot better than being 20% of the way done a the end of first semester).  But I wanted to do a quick review anyway, both for myself for later on, and for anyone else who might be making a career change or considering one.  With a rapidly changing economy, I suspect that career changes may become more common, and I think it's helpful for us all to share our triumphs and struggles.

What was better this semester:  At least for about the first half of the semester, I managed to carve out a little more free time.  I think this was due to a few factors.  One is that I didn't get sick (I had a horrible monster cold that lasted several weeks in the fall).  Also, while my classes this semester were challenging, I didn't have any that I really struggled to understand, whereas one of my fall classes was very conceptually difficult (and consequently, took up an exorbitant amount of time).  Finally, I decided to take one of my classes early in the morning, which freed up more time in the afternoons (when I tend to be more productive) to work.  I still felt extremely busy, but free time is a huge morale booster for me, so even small pockets of it made this semester more bearable.

What was worse this semester:  I was so miserable at the end of first semester that I was seriously considering dropping out.  As a result, it was hard to start second semester with any sense of optimism at all.  And my pessimism was not unfounded.  Second semester was in large part characterized by having to fight with various people who control my academic/clinical fate in one way or another.  (I would say one benefit of going back to school when you're older is being more willing and able to advocate for yourself, rather than just being steamrolled).  The semester ended with me challenging a final course grade for the first time ever (but on the bright side, the matter was resolved quickly and in my favor).

What gives me hope for the final three semesters:  Several things, really.  (1)  I'm 40% of the way done.  At this point, I think the easiest way out is through.  (2)  I'm going to start spending a lot of time off campus in internships.  Even though these internships are unpaid, I think it'll feel a lot more like working again (which, ultimately, is my goal in all of this).  (3) So far, I've enjoyed the clinical aspect of my program, and I'm going to start spending much more time on that.

Is it all worth it?  Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing until I finish and start applying for jobs.  I will say that between taking my prerequisites for free and getting partial funding for my current program that I'm getting off pretty easy in terms of financial commitment.  I would advise anyone considering going back to school to think about the financial aspect of doing so.  There are never any guarantees of jobs on the other side, and the last thing anyone wants is a heavy student loan burden with no income to pay it back.

Life's Little Triumphs: I Caught A Mouse!

I complained recently about the smart mice in my apartment.  I kept the trap out, but had pretty much despaired of ever catching anything. 

But yesterday morning, when I walked by the trap, I saw a blob that looked significantly larger than the peanut butter bait.  I took a closer look and and saw a gray mouse! 

Hoping to avoid questions from other people on the elevator, I put the trap in a bag and carried it outside.  When I set it down and lifted the door, the mouse made a run for it (in the opposite direction of my building, I'm happy to report).  I don't know what fate awaits the little guy, but I noticed that it had eaten the entire blob of peanut butter, so I can at least say I sent it off with a good meal.

So, don't lose hope, fellow mouse-sufferers.  No matter how well your mice seem to avoid your traps, they only need to slip up once.  In my fairly limited experience, humane traps are neither as efficient nor as enjoyable as having a cat, but for now, they'll have to do.

That Feeling Of Instant Deflation

I went to my local Safeway today to pick up a few things.  Apparently, they have some sort of Monopoly sweepstakes going on now because the cashier gave me a handful of game pieces after I paid.  They were of the variety where you tear the paper at the perforated edges and then open up the pieces.  I did this when I got home because who can resist the idea of becoming the next supermarket sweepstakes gazillionaire?

AND I WAS AN INSTANT WINNER!!!!

Oh.  Of my choice of Formula 409, Pine Sol, Tilex, or Liquid Plumr. 

Well, my bathroom sink frequently backs up, so I guess by winning Liquid Plumr, I may have won the equivalent of four or five bucks.  You just have to look for that silver lining sometimes.

How Did I Get Stuck With All The Smart Mice?

I'm pretty sure that everyone who met our cat Laila liked her.  After all, she was friendly and entertaining.  The only living creatures that are celebrating her demise are the mice that live in our building.

We currently have at least two mice spending time in our apartment:  one that runs like it's drunk, and one that runs normally.  I occasionally see them scuttling between the coat closet and the kitchen, usually making a beeline to go under the oven.  (I guess the silver lining here is that I haven't found them elsewhere in the apartment?).  I'm sure they would have already met a brutal end if Laila were still with us, but in the absence of an accomplished hunter, I had to take steps on my own.  I ordered a couple of those humane traps from Amazon--the kind where you put in some food for bait, they run in, and a door closes behind them.  Then, I guess the idea is that you can take them outside, where they can freeze to death, be run over by a car, or get eaten by a wild animal instead of someone's indoor pet.

Except that in this case, they're not taking the bait.  Per the instructions on the trap box, I put in a blob of perfectly good peanut butter (which may or may not be rancid after having spent several weeks in the trap), but they are not even remotely interested.  I've tried to angle the trap to match their trajectory between the coat closet and the oven, but at least three times now, I've seen them actually run around the trap to avoid it.  Are these battle-scarred mice who were previously humanely trapped, taken outside, and made their way back into the building?  Or mice with genius-level IQ?  We'll never know...

Random DC Picture

Just because I'm happy with how it turned out. 

They Take Me Back, Alright

Like many people, I consider music to be an important part of my life.  I listen to music to celebrate good times, relieve stress, and process my emotions.  As a result, I associate certain songs with certain times in my life.  This is all well and good when the associations are positive (or at least neutral), but what about the times when songs take us back to things we'd rather leave in the past?

Hold Your Head Up by Argent:  I discovered this song on YouTube after being laid off in the summer of 2017.  And really, what better song to find during a time of discouragement and uncertainty?  I listened to it at least daily for a while to encourage myself to stay hopeful.  The problem was that in effect, this song became my layoff song.  It was months after I started working again before I could listen to it again.  And even now, while I enjoy the song again, it still takes me back to the emotional roller coaster that was that time in my life.

Last Christmas by Wham:  Fortunately, I never liked this song anyway.  It's always been one of those aggravating features of the holiday season.  However, around Christmas time in 2011, I was spending a lot of time in doctor appointments, having spent the previous several months with strange and unsettling symptoms that were growing worse.  My physician at the time was really wonderful in many regards--she never rushed anyone through their appointments and was very thorough.  But this meant that if you were seeing her towards the end of the day, she was likely to be very behind in her schedule, and you were going to spend a lot of the time in the waiting room.  This song was played very frequently in her waiting room during that time, and as a result, this song is not only annoying, it also reminds me of being sick.

Take It To The Limit by the Eagles:  This association isn't as bad as the previous two.  I took AP calculus as a senior in high school, and it was a struggle the entire year.  I eventually decided I needed an official song to pump myself up for the AP calculus exam and decided that since this song
had the word "limit" in the title, it was a natural fit (and if you don't believe me, try to come up with a song with the word "derivative" in the title).  Everything turned out well in the end--I somehow passed the exam and didn't have to take calculus in college.  So while this isn't an unpleasant memory per se, I still think of this song as the calculus song. 

Wishing everybody happy times to celebrate with good songs!

The Mice Will Play

I wrote here last month about caring for Laila as her kidney disease progressed.  At first, I hoped--perhaps unrealistically--that I might nurse her back to health during my winter break and that she might be with us for longer.  Then, as time went on, I hoped that I might just be able to buy her a few more weeks or months with a reasonable quality of life.  Sadly, that did not happen, either.  We had Laila put to sleep toward the end of January.  For anyone who hasn't made that sort of decision for a beloved pet, I can say that it's possible to simultaneously feel very confident that you made the right decision and feel terrible about it.

I have not yet adjusted to her being gone.  I still find myself expecting a little cat to greet me when I come home, meow loudly while I try to sleep in on the weekends, and jump up on the table to steal my food and water.  I keep thinking I need to feed her or scoop the cat litter. 

Occasionally, though, her absence feels very clear in my mind.  Yesterday, when I saw a mouse scuttle across my kitchen, it occurred to me that there would be no prolonged hunt to witness and no dead mouse body to find on the floor later.  On top of all the ways in which I feel sad, I'm also concerned that an onslaught of mice in my apartment is imminent.  You know, when the cat's away....