Out of all of the holiday sales and specials that we have to choose from, the one I'm most excited about these days is the 12 Days of Cheese at Whole Foods. I'm not sure when they started it, but I became aware of it a couple years ago, and I've eagerly anticipated it each December since then.
For the uninitiated, the 12 Days of Cheese is when Whole Foods marks a different cheese 50% off for twelve days. They distribute a cheese schedule ahead of time, so you know what you'll find each day. Like all sales, I'm sure the intent is just to get people in the store with the hopes that they will buy more than just the cheese...but you get to decide that!
In years past, at least in the Whole Foods near me, you had to search for the half price cheese. This year, they displaced the half price cheeses prominently. The good part of this was that I spent less time looking for them; the bad part was that a couple days when I went to Whole Foods, they had sold out of the half price cheese. I decided that on days when I was really interested in the half price cheese, I needed to go there early to make sure I could get it. Fortunately for me, by the time the 12 Days of Cheese rolled around this year, my semester was winding down, so I had more free time to go on cheese runs.
This year, I managed to buy cheese on 6 of the 12 days. This might seem like an excessive amount of cheese for two people, but (a) you can buy small amounts of some of the cheeses, (b) most cheese lasts a while in the fridge, and (c) for me, there is no such thing as an excessive amount of cheese. Every year for New Year's Eve, I make an appetizer dinner, and I was very happy to have pre-bought all the cheese I wanted for it. "Fancy" cheese is one of my vices at the moment, and I'm happy to be able to combine it with my love of bargains.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
How Creepy Is Too Creepy?
I saw something today that I haven't stopped thinking about. It was the sort of scene most women will be all too familiar with--a man paying an inordinate amount of attention to a woman he doesn't know but without crossing any lines that would make his behavior illegal.
I was in line at the supermarket. A woman who appeared to be in her mid- to late twenties got in line behind me. A man who appeared to be in his late fifties to early sixties got in line behind her. As a side note, I notice he was munching a handful of corn chips, in what was apparently a rather liberal interpretation of what constitutes a free sample. Anyway, I digress. I overheard the corn chip-munching man start a conversation with the woman behind me. He started by commenting that she must really like corn nuts, which is an innocent enough--if somewhat bizarre--conversation starter. She replied that they were for her boyfriend, which in my mind was a pretty clear signal for him to back off. Nevertheless, he persisted.
I don't remember what else he said, except that the conversation somehow escalated to him asking her what area she lived in, at which point she referenced her boyfriend again. At that point, it was my turn to pay for my groceries, and I didn't hear what happened next.
For me, it was when he started trying to find out where she lived that turned this conversation from weird into creepy. And since the woman in question alluded to her boyfriend twice in the conversation, I think she probably found the conversation creepy, too. Referencing a boyfriend or husband is a tactic I've used in similar situations. But I was left wondering what, if anything, to do. The man in question was being creepy, but hadn't come close to crossing any legal lines. It didn't seem like a situation for calling the police or store security. We were in a crowded supermarket in broad daylight, which probably provided some safety. I briefly considered waiting for the woman to finish paying for her groceries and offer to walk with her wherever she needed to go, but wasn't sure if that would be welcome.
Truthfully, when I reflect on my own experiences of this sort, I'm not sure what I would even want from well-intentioned strangers in this sort of situation. When I've been in similar situations, I've been very focused on determining whether the situation is likely to escalate in any way and make my escape. It's never occurred to me that a bystander could come to my rescue in any way. But when I think about it, I realize that it shouldn't be that way. After all, an inordinate amount of attention from a stranger would be far less unnerving if we felt like someone had our backs.
So right now, I'm looking for ideas. Was I correct to not intercede? Should I have waited for the woman and offered to walk somewhere with her? Butted in on the conversation to take some of the heat off the woman behind me in line? There has been discussion recently of how to intercede in situations that are clearly more dangerous, but since low-level creepy incidents are unfortunately a large part of many women's lives, I think we need rules for bystanders in those, too.
I was in line at the supermarket. A woman who appeared to be in her mid- to late twenties got in line behind me. A man who appeared to be in his late fifties to early sixties got in line behind her. As a side note, I notice he was munching a handful of corn chips, in what was apparently a rather liberal interpretation of what constitutes a free sample. Anyway, I digress. I overheard the corn chip-munching man start a conversation with the woman behind me. He started by commenting that she must really like corn nuts, which is an innocent enough--if somewhat bizarre--conversation starter. She replied that they were for her boyfriend, which in my mind was a pretty clear signal for him to back off. Nevertheless, he persisted.
I don't remember what else he said, except that the conversation somehow escalated to him asking her what area she lived in, at which point she referenced her boyfriend again. At that point, it was my turn to pay for my groceries, and I didn't hear what happened next.
For me, it was when he started trying to find out where she lived that turned this conversation from weird into creepy. And since the woman in question alluded to her boyfriend twice in the conversation, I think she probably found the conversation creepy, too. Referencing a boyfriend or husband is a tactic I've used in similar situations. But I was left wondering what, if anything, to do. The man in question was being creepy, but hadn't come close to crossing any legal lines. It didn't seem like a situation for calling the police or store security. We were in a crowded supermarket in broad daylight, which probably provided some safety. I briefly considered waiting for the woman to finish paying for her groceries and offer to walk with her wherever she needed to go, but wasn't sure if that would be welcome.
Truthfully, when I reflect on my own experiences of this sort, I'm not sure what I would even want from well-intentioned strangers in this sort of situation. When I've been in similar situations, I've been very focused on determining whether the situation is likely to escalate in any way and make my escape. It's never occurred to me that a bystander could come to my rescue in any way. But when I think about it, I realize that it shouldn't be that way. After all, an inordinate amount of attention from a stranger would be far less unnerving if we felt like someone had our backs.
So right now, I'm looking for ideas. Was I correct to not intercede? Should I have waited for the woman and offered to walk somewhere with her? Butted in on the conversation to take some of the heat off the woman behind me in line? There has been discussion recently of how to intercede in situations that are clearly more dangerous, but since low-level creepy incidents are unfortunately a large part of many women's lives, I think we need rules for bystanders in those, too.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Shouldn't We Move Past This As A Society?
Nope, not a political rant today. At least I don't think it's tied up on politics in any way...
What I'm going to complain about is group assignments in educational settings. It has been the bane of my existence since I was in 4th grade. I still remember the assistant principal of my elementary school coming into my class and explaining the concept of "cooperative learning." Back then, it was more structured. Each group was supposed to divide into rolls: leader, recorder, reporter, and maybe some other stuff I've forgotten. I think even as a kid, I was hoping and expecting it to be a passing fad, but the concept has had a distressing amount of staying power.
In my experience, there has been a lot less group work in higher ed. But in my K-12 years, I heard various excuses for group work. One thing I heard a lot was that it was a way for students who were doing better to help students who were lagging behind, which always made me wonder how that was fair to the students who were doing well. Another excuse was that eventually, we would all be in jobs that required massive amounts of group work, and we needed to get used to working together.
Well. I can't speak for everyone's jobs, of course, but I can speak to the ones I've had. Some of my jobs, like teaching, have actually required little to no group work. Other jobs I've had involved completing tasks or projects in teams, but really in those situations, we were usually working individually on portions of projects that would all be put together in the end. So we weren't putting up with each others neuroses and idiosyncrasies on a daily basis. Also, it's worth pointing out that everyone was getting paid for their teamwork efforts. Personally, I will put up with a lot more when money is involved.
What inspired this particular rant is that I had a considerable amount of group work in one of my classes this semester, which, I'm happy to report, ended yesterday with the presentation of the last project. Even under the best circumstances, this amount of group work would have been challenging, but the person I worked with turned out to be a complete nightmare. She consistently waited until right before projects were due to do any work, and then second-guessed (and sometimes deleted) work I'd already done. Then she would waste time agonizing over what other students in the class were doing and messing around with formatting. She would then be miffed that I didn't want to match her amount of time engaged in useless behaviors that masquerade as "working." In principle, it's supposed to be faster to complete projects with another person, but I'm convinced I would have finished all of the projects much faster on my own.
I understand that some people work better in groups as individuals. But those of us who work better individually shouldn't be forced into that model, and people should stop talking about how beneficial group work is for us in the long run. The fastest way for this nonsense to go away is for educators to stop forcing group work on everyone. Can we finally take that step as a society?
What I'm going to complain about is group assignments in educational settings. It has been the bane of my existence since I was in 4th grade. I still remember the assistant principal of my elementary school coming into my class and explaining the concept of "cooperative learning." Back then, it was more structured. Each group was supposed to divide into rolls: leader, recorder, reporter, and maybe some other stuff I've forgotten. I think even as a kid, I was hoping and expecting it to be a passing fad, but the concept has had a distressing amount of staying power.
In my experience, there has been a lot less group work in higher ed. But in my K-12 years, I heard various excuses for group work. One thing I heard a lot was that it was a way for students who were doing better to help students who were lagging behind, which always made me wonder how that was fair to the students who were doing well. Another excuse was that eventually, we would all be in jobs that required massive amounts of group work, and we needed to get used to working together.
Well. I can't speak for everyone's jobs, of course, but I can speak to the ones I've had. Some of my jobs, like teaching, have actually required little to no group work. Other jobs I've had involved completing tasks or projects in teams, but really in those situations, we were usually working individually on portions of projects that would all be put together in the end. So we weren't putting up with each others neuroses and idiosyncrasies on a daily basis. Also, it's worth pointing out that everyone was getting paid for their teamwork efforts. Personally, I will put up with a lot more when money is involved.
What inspired this particular rant is that I had a considerable amount of group work in one of my classes this semester, which, I'm happy to report, ended yesterday with the presentation of the last project. Even under the best circumstances, this amount of group work would have been challenging, but the person I worked with turned out to be a complete nightmare. She consistently waited until right before projects were due to do any work, and then second-guessed (and sometimes deleted) work I'd already done. Then she would waste time agonizing over what other students in the class were doing and messing around with formatting. She would then be miffed that I didn't want to match her amount of time engaged in useless behaviors that masquerade as "working." In principle, it's supposed to be faster to complete projects with another person, but I'm convinced I would have finished all of the projects much faster on my own.
I understand that some people work better in groups as individuals. But those of us who work better individually shouldn't be forced into that model, and people should stop talking about how beneficial group work is for us in the long run. The fastest way for this nonsense to go away is for educators to stop forcing group work on everyone. Can we finally take that step as a society?
Saturday, December 1, 2018
A Bridge Too Far
I had been feeling regretful recently about my lack of both time and material to update my blog. The time is still a problem (still two weeks left in my semester!), but I now have some (completely unwelcome) material: There. Is. A. Centipede. In. My. Home.
My building is unfortunately home to various unwelcome critters. I've written here before about the rodent problem. Laila usually keeps the mice at bay (she killed her sixth mouse a few weeks ago!). However, the flip side of having a cat take care of the rodents is that her food attracts roaches, another one of the unwelcome critters. In general--if I must live in a building with infestation problems--I'm okay with this trade off. As gross as roaches are, I prefer them to the mice.
However, a centipede is another matter entirely. Centipedes have always given me the creeps. They run really fast, and I've hear their bites are painful. They also just look awful. Years ago, in another apartment, one somehow got into my closet light fixture and died there. It was illuminated every time I turned the light on. I took it as an omen that I needed to move.
Anyway, this current centipede is on the wall in the closet that holds my washer and dryer. It's high enough up and wedged enough into the corner that it would be difficult to kill. I'm afraid of I go after it with a broom, it'll just fall down and run off someplace (or worse, somehow fall on me). At the moment it's hanging out and moving its antennae menacingly when I try to do laundry. I don't like seeing it there, but I know if it disappears, I'll worry about where else it might show up.
I'm hoping for less revolting material next time I write here. Anyone got any great tips for dealing with centipedes that somehow get inside?
My building is unfortunately home to various unwelcome critters. I've written here before about the rodent problem. Laila usually keeps the mice at bay (she killed her sixth mouse a few weeks ago!). However, the flip side of having a cat take care of the rodents is that her food attracts roaches, another one of the unwelcome critters. In general--if I must live in a building with infestation problems--I'm okay with this trade off. As gross as roaches are, I prefer them to the mice.
However, a centipede is another matter entirely. Centipedes have always given me the creeps. They run really fast, and I've hear their bites are painful. They also just look awful. Years ago, in another apartment, one somehow got into my closet light fixture and died there. It was illuminated every time I turned the light on. I took it as an omen that I needed to move.
Anyway, this current centipede is on the wall in the closet that holds my washer and dryer. It's high enough up and wedged enough into the corner that it would be difficult to kill. I'm afraid of I go after it with a broom, it'll just fall down and run off someplace (or worse, somehow fall on me). At the moment it's hanging out and moving its antennae menacingly when I try to do laundry. I don't like seeing it there, but I know if it disappears, I'll worry about where else it might show up.
I'm hoping for less revolting material next time I write here. Anyone got any great tips for dealing with centipedes that somehow get inside?
Sunday, November 4, 2018
Can't We Stretch Out The Magic Of Halloween?
Complaints about stores and their schedule of displaying/selling holiday items are pretty much a cliche at this point. So I never really thought I would add to the chorus...but I will, since I feel mildly inconvenienced by it right now.
I've been seeing cute little pumpkins for sale for weeks. Every week, I've been tempted to buy one, but I haven't because there is no shortage of clutter in my apartment, and I didn't have a good enough reason to justify buying one. But then I decided that one of those pumpkins would be a cool addition to a fall-themed activity I was planning for one of my clients. I decided to buy one today.
Except that there were none to be found in my supermarket. In fact, all traces of Halloween had vanished, replaced with a mix of Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff. It never occurred to me that all the pumpkins would be gone, since (a) Halloween was less than a week ago, and (b)I thought people who liked table centerpieces would want cute little pumpkins for their Thanksgiving decorating.
Well, lesson learned. My client will have to see a line drawing of a pumpkin, and in the future, I'll recognize little pumpkins as the precious, fleeting commodity that they are.
I've been seeing cute little pumpkins for sale for weeks. Every week, I've been tempted to buy one, but I haven't because there is no shortage of clutter in my apartment, and I didn't have a good enough reason to justify buying one. But then I decided that one of those pumpkins would be a cool addition to a fall-themed activity I was planning for one of my clients. I decided to buy one today.
Except that there were none to be found in my supermarket. In fact, all traces of Halloween had vanished, replaced with a mix of Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff. It never occurred to me that all the pumpkins would be gone, since (a) Halloween was less than a week ago, and (b)I thought people who liked table centerpieces would want cute little pumpkins for their Thanksgiving decorating.
Well, lesson learned. My client will have to see a line drawing of a pumpkin, and in the future, I'll recognize little pumpkins as the precious, fleeting commodity that they are.
Sunday, October 14, 2018
The Limits To Feline Companionship
I love having a cat, and Laila adds a lot to my life. But I realized recently that she is utterly lacking in empathy when it comes to human sickness.
I've been sick with a cold for about the past week and a half now. I initially thought I'd be able to kick it pretty fast since, after all, it's just a cold. But of course colds come in gradations, from the "just a cold" variety to the "monster viruses that bring on secondary infections and leave your abdomen sore from all the coughing" variety. My cold belongs to the latter category. Throughout this ordeal, it has been clear that Laila doesn't like my coughing, particularly when I have a coughing fit while she's in my lap. But she hasn't seemed to connect the annoying sound to any discomfort on my part.
Her lack of empathy became very apparent Friday night, when I had hoped for a good night of sleep that would put me on a fast track to feeling better. I got up for the second time at around 4 AM when it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to sleep because of all my coughing. When I came out to the living room, Laila concluded it was cat breakfast time and started meowing loudly. I told her it wasn't time for breakfast yet, and started making myself a cup of hot herbal tea to try to calm my cough.
The worst moment was when I sat on the couch with my hot tea in hand, started coughing before I could set the cup down, spilled scalding hot water on my thigh, and yelped. Laila's response? Industriously scratching the couch. She didn't even look up at the sound of my yelp.
I still highly recommend cat ownership to anyone. After all, cats are fun most of the time. But don't buy expensive furniture if you're going to have a cat. And don't expect any concern from them at all when you're sick.
I've been sick with a cold for about the past week and a half now. I initially thought I'd be able to kick it pretty fast since, after all, it's just a cold. But of course colds come in gradations, from the "just a cold" variety to the "monster viruses that bring on secondary infections and leave your abdomen sore from all the coughing" variety. My cold belongs to the latter category. Throughout this ordeal, it has been clear that Laila doesn't like my coughing, particularly when I have a coughing fit while she's in my lap. But she hasn't seemed to connect the annoying sound to any discomfort on my part.
Her lack of empathy became very apparent Friday night, when I had hoped for a good night of sleep that would put me on a fast track to feeling better. I got up for the second time at around 4 AM when it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to sleep because of all my coughing. When I came out to the living room, Laila concluded it was cat breakfast time and started meowing loudly. I told her it wasn't time for breakfast yet, and started making myself a cup of hot herbal tea to try to calm my cough.
The worst moment was when I sat on the couch with my hot tea in hand, started coughing before I could set the cup down, spilled scalding hot water on my thigh, and yelped. Laila's response? Industriously scratching the couch. She didn't even look up at the sound of my yelp.
I still highly recommend cat ownership to anyone. After all, cats are fun most of the time. But don't buy expensive furniture if you're going to have a cat. And don't expect any concern from them at all when you're sick.
Thursday, September 27, 2018
I Stand With Dr. Christine Blasey Ford
I am still adjusting to my new level of busyness, but when I have spare moments, I find myself turning to coverage of Brett Kavanaugh and the women who have accused him of sexual assault and misconduct. At this point, three such women have come forward. I believe all of them, but I chose to focus the title of this blog post on Dr. Christine Blasey Ford because she spent the day testifying before the Senate and we know the most about her experience.
Why do I so firmly believe her? After all, I wasn't a witness to what happened.
Two reasons:
1. Sexual assault is so extremely prevalent in our society that it does not surprise me when I hear that someone was assaulted.
2. She had absolutely no incentive to fabricate this. From all outward appearances, she has had an extremely successful adult life. Since coming forward with her allegations against Kavanaugh, she has experienced harassment and threats. Why would she throw her own life into utter disarray, aside from a sense of civic duty?
Why am I so interested in this case?
1. Because while I don't share Ford's exact experience, I've had other bad experiences with harassment and aggression from men. The MeToo movement has shown me just how common such experiences are, and it makes me angry. How much more mental energy would women have if we weren't trying to avoid harassment and aggression or trying to mentally recover from experiencing it? What could we collectively accomplish with that additional mental energy? What would life be like if women's bodies were not so routinely treated like public property?
2. Because I resent the implications some have made that the fact that Kavanaugh was a teenager at the time somehow makes it okay to assault someone. Sure, he can move on from that...but what about Ford? She has had to live with this experience her whole life. The fact that she was a teenager at the time does not make it any better for her.
3. Because we are talking about making a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. It's a foregone conclusion that I'm not going to be thrilled with anyone Trump nominates. But the risk of a Supreme Court justice who attempted to rape someone--yes, even decades ago--is unacceptable. Surely there are other people he could choose from, and surely not all of them have a history of violence.
4. Because I'm appalled at how little we have progressed as a society. I was in sixth grade when Anita Hill testified that Clarence Thomas had repeatedly sexually harassed her on the job. Though I was still young at the time, I remember the skepticism she encountered. Actually, one of my most vivid memories of that time is my (female) social studies teacher that year speculating that Hill had had a crush on Thomas and was acting out of unrequited love. I would have hoped than in the intervening 26 years, our society would have become more enlightened. I'm not asking for anyone to automatically believe anyone who brings forward allegations of sexual misconduct or assault, but I do wish that everyone would seriously consider them. At a bare minimum, people who bring forward such allegations should not have to fear for their own safety.
The United States deserves better than this. I deeply admire all the women who have come forward to try to ensure that we get better than this in the end.
Why do I so firmly believe her? After all, I wasn't a witness to what happened.
Two reasons:
1. Sexual assault is so extremely prevalent in our society that it does not surprise me when I hear that someone was assaulted.
2. She had absolutely no incentive to fabricate this. From all outward appearances, she has had an extremely successful adult life. Since coming forward with her allegations against Kavanaugh, she has experienced harassment and threats. Why would she throw her own life into utter disarray, aside from a sense of civic duty?
Why am I so interested in this case?
1. Because while I don't share Ford's exact experience, I've had other bad experiences with harassment and aggression from men. The MeToo movement has shown me just how common such experiences are, and it makes me angry. How much more mental energy would women have if we weren't trying to avoid harassment and aggression or trying to mentally recover from experiencing it? What could we collectively accomplish with that additional mental energy? What would life be like if women's bodies were not so routinely treated like public property?
2. Because I resent the implications some have made that the fact that Kavanaugh was a teenager at the time somehow makes it okay to assault someone. Sure, he can move on from that...but what about Ford? She has had to live with this experience her whole life. The fact that she was a teenager at the time does not make it any better for her.
3. Because we are talking about making a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. It's a foregone conclusion that I'm not going to be thrilled with anyone Trump nominates. But the risk of a Supreme Court justice who attempted to rape someone--yes, even decades ago--is unacceptable. Surely there are other people he could choose from, and surely not all of them have a history of violence.
4. Because I'm appalled at how little we have progressed as a society. I was in sixth grade when Anita Hill testified that Clarence Thomas had repeatedly sexually harassed her on the job. Though I was still young at the time, I remember the skepticism she encountered. Actually, one of my most vivid memories of that time is my (female) social studies teacher that year speculating that Hill had had a crush on Thomas and was acting out of unrequited love. I would have hoped than in the intervening 26 years, our society would have become more enlightened. I'm not asking for anyone to automatically believe anyone who brings forward allegations of sexual misconduct or assault, but I do wish that everyone would seriously consider them. At a bare minimum, people who bring forward such allegations should not have to fear for their own safety.
The United States deserves better than this. I deeply admire all the women who have come forward to try to ensure that we get better than this in the end.
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